Control

Control is very easy to get fixated on, it reduces uncertainty and anxiety but at the same time can cause those very things. We cannot control everything and with accepting that we have to accept that life can be pretty uncertain and anxiety provoking. Living with OCD I notice how in some aspects i’m doing [...]

The Bleach

Traveling, challenging the Fear

I think the worse part was being on the train and tube through london, peak time. That was bringing on a panic attack rather than being at the airport and flying. I was thrown off first checking in, it was a bit confusing and worrying over my luggage and my valuables i’m travelling with. It’s [...]

A moment in the life of someone with OCD

Needing to hear certain words or needing someone to repeat said word certain times pulls at my skin. It’s like a light bulb pinging in my head, if I don’t get them to repeat it what could happen? Someone I care about will get hurt, will die or be in pain. Those are the thoughts [...]

Sharing

As cathartic as it is to write about my experience with OCD, a big part of me sharing is to create awareness and create a space where people have a better understanding of this debilitating disorder and be able to connect. Suffering from OCD is not easy to speak about, because of the fear of [...]

OCD Awareness Week, Day 2

I realised it marks a year since I made this account. An account I made to share experiences and connect with others who can relate. I feel defeated in so many ways with, I guess call them illnesses i’m dealing with, but a part of me keeps nudging me. It’s pushing me to realise my [...]

Thankful

I’m so thankful for immunosuppressants, I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them. Although they come high risk and those bloody blood tests that first need doing weekly are a pain, it’s been worth it. For me I was struggling so bad that that cons of immunosuppressants were and are worth the risk. I’ve [...]

Fake it till you make it?

When you want to and try to be present in life but just want hide under the covers. When you want to achieve so much but have limitations. Those things I long to achieve may not happen but they also might but the timeline is unpredictable. That’s frustrating to me, but it’s life. I have [...]

Hair loss, Hair thinning & Trichotillomania

Where to start? I've dealt with trich for many years, sometimes I wonder if people notice it. I wonder if they notice me doing it rather than the end result. I pull out my eyebrows and hair, I used to pull out my eyelashes. It's such an innate thing that sometimes I don't realise I'm [...]

I’m sick of being invisible

Towards the end of last year became the start of the beginning for me. The real essence of it, I found hope. I started to believe that I could live a full life. Who knows when it could be but I'm at the start and that's something. My journey of recovery has been all over [...]