OCD – Intrusive Thoughts

Oil Paint 🎨 OCD 

When you suppress your thoughts because your mind is ugly

You blame yourself for everything

Everything bad

You tell yourself you are a terrible person

With sick thoughts

Realising the ins and outs of OCD

Doesn’t necessarily make it better

Yes, now you know that these thoughts are not representative of you but of OCD

But knowing this doesn’t just stop the feelings and inner voice

I can’t kick these thoughts out, okay, I have a disturbing intrusive thought, I tell myself this is not me this is the monster ocd, I tell myself that this is not within my control that this thought is not me willing it to happen, I just have to go through it till it stops

Whether I believe what I tell myself or not the image still stays until it goes, I’ll still reflect on it throughout the day or it may continue to keep coming up

It’s still ingrained in my mind

And in my mind deep down I still search for, well if this is not me and it is obsessive compulsive disorder

Why is it something bad I see, why isn’t everyone experiencing this, if I my mind was terrible, if I am not terrible why do I imagine all these things?

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One thought on “OCD – Intrusive Thoughts

  1. I don’t know if you’ve tried CBT. But this is how I got over my most disturbing OCD thought. That being said, they seem to change over the years for me on they’re own, so I’m sure there will be a new one I will have to deal with at some point… I do plan to use CBT when that happens.
    Thanks for taking the time to write this. I totally relate.

    Liked by 1 person

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